"I can’t leave you. You’re the only person I love on Mondays and I fucking hate everyone on Mondays. I can’t give that up."
Suddenly you’re 21 and you’re screaming along in your car to all the songs you used to listen to when you were sad in middle school and everything is different but everything is good
"I. I was the first person to teach you that love was not always a white light to a ship lost at sea.
II. On my worst days, the sky was a festering wound that wouldn’t heal. I didn’t want to be that to you.
III. On my worst days, you were the only word I could say without clenching my fists.
IV. I really did love you, I just couldn’t claw my way out of the ground to do it properly.
V. None of this was your fault.
VI. I’m sorry I was your lighthouse. I’m sorry you couldn’t see the wall of rocks on my shore."
- me: looks at calendar
- calendar: august 28
- me: close enough *starts looking into halloween decor*
I’m never going to be the one you take home to your family.
"Wanna know the fucking truth? Nobody is fucking happy. Nobody has skin made from oil paint and sunlight. Nobody fucking understands this world. Fuck, nobody probably understands math as much as they claim. You’re here one day and the next you’re not. God? Religion? I’ve learned a lot more about the world by eating acid and swallowing pills. Tell me what your church has done for you? Tell me if you have holes in your mouth from speaking lies? Wanna know the fucking truth? Pity is just another word for pathetic. Drink beer and watch the sunrise from every rooftop. Take photographs naked. Take photographs kissing. Take photographs having sex. Stop making everything about sexuality. Wanna know the fucking truth? Nobody really gives a damn if you lost your virginity at fourteen or if you were the president in high school. Wanna know the fucking truth? There is no such thing as the right person. People leave. They change like ocean currents, they leave you with bruises in your calves. And you wanna know the fucking truth? You get better. You learn to love. You find God in between the cracks of a wall when you’re puking your limbs out. You wanna know the fucking truth? Go find it."
"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me."
"In that moment after a piece of you entered a piece of me, the room was almost silent except for your soft sighs. I broke the quiet, and the words slowly but surely fell out of my mouth.
“I love you.” My voice seemed louder than ever before, bouncing off the walls.
After I spoke, I looked at him to see his reaction, but there was none. It was almost like my words hit the floor and shattered before he heard them.
Finally, after what felt like eternity, he looked over at me and his blue eyes met mine. “You’re sweet.”
My chest felt heavy, and my bones felt like they were slowly being broken along with my heart. My cheeks started to burn and so did my eyes.
He got out of my bed and slid on his pants, the silence between us never meant anything before but now it means everything. I can’t explain to you, how watching him walk out of the door that night made my head fill with confusion and my heart will with hurt.
I guess it was my mistake, to think that every time we went into bed we were making love. I confused sex, and greed, and two bodies connecting for something else. I thought that just because he kissed my skin, I was the girl he wanted, that with every bite he was marking his territory. I needed to learn, and this was my lesson, just because he lets you crawl into his bed he will let you crawl into your heart. Just because in the moment he looks at you with a look that could say more than a million words, it doesn’t mean anything. I didn’t mean anything, but to me, he meant everything."
Martial Arts Ask (made by karate-love)
- What made you start martial arts? A friend started, and convinced me to come along for the fitness. She left after 6 months and I'm now in my 8th year.
- What is your first memory of martial arts? I remember my first class- it was a brutal fitness session and I couldn't walk for 3 days.
- What is your mentor/inspiration in the martial arts? Bren Foster.
- When did you first realize you were serious about martial arts? I think I was a blue belt, and I started taking notes between classes and entering regional competitions.
- Did you ever feel like quitting? Just before my Second Degree grading. I didn't.
- What is the hardest thing you've had to get past in the martial arts? Myself. I lack self-motivation, but once I'm at the Dojang I'm fine.
- What's the most important thing you've learned from the martial arts? Taekwon-Do is more than just kicking & punching. It's a lifestyle, and I'm glad I adopted that lifestyle at 13 y/o as it's enabled me to grow as a person and given me emotional and mental stability during some tough times.
Meet the blogger
LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE
- Name: Samantha-Jayne
- Eye color: Blue
- Hair style/color: Brown, with blonde tips.
- Height: 5ft 10in
- Clothing style: Mainly plain - jeans and a tee.
- Best physical feature: Legs. Although looks pretty on some days.
LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- Your fears: clowns, car crashes, job security, my career (or lack of).
- Your guilty pleasure: Bad 80’s movies, and their soundtracks.
- Ambitions for the future: Big ass fancy car. That is all.
LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- Your first thoughts waking up: "Have I overslept? Yupp. Shit."
- What you think about most: Sex, and Taekwon-Do.
- What you think about before bed: Usually whittle over the things I didn’t complete.
LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU.
- Single or group dates: Single.
- To be loved or respected: Respect.
- Beauty or brains: Brains
- Dogs or cats: Dogs.
- Lie: A lot.
- Believe in yourself: A little.
- Believe in love: Yes, otherwise what’s the point?
- Want someone: Yes. God yes.
LAYER SIX: EVER?
- Been on stage: Yes
- Done drugs: Yes
- Changed who you were to fit in: Regrettably so.
LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES
LAYER EIGHT: AGE
- Favorite color: Peach
- Favorite animal: Red Tree Panda
- Favorite movie: Mannequin
- Favorite show: Desperate Housewives
- Favorite book: Miss Perigees Home for Peculiar Children.
- Day your next birthday will be: Monday July 27th
- How old will you be: 22
- Does age matter: No. Unless you’re at a bar.